Outside the sky is cloudy but bright. It rains occasionally, but the temperature is mild. I like this time of year. Transition-time. It is a very suitable mood for this Mothlands launch. No fireworks or shout outs. Just a quiet setting sails.
I sit here, on my bed under a thick blanket, accompanied by my cat. We both enjoy this quiet moment.
I've needed it for a while. The last weeks have been full of activities, like summer always is. But for me, this summer in particular. Moving into our new old farmhouse in Sweden, and preparing this project simultaneously, has been an excercise in handling many to-do's without getting stressed out and still being present. However, I think farmhouse-living and Mothlands is an inspiring combination, that forces me to keep a broader perspective. I like that.
There is two weeks to go before we start shooting the first filmsketch, so things are intensifying, creatively and production-wise. The first sketch is a portrait of the relation between a 10-year old girl and her mother, sharing a bond of destiny. We are filming further up in sweden, over the course of 6 days, starting on sunday 15th of September. It's a small team of really interesting people, so it's going to be an intimate and intense process. The major elements are falling into place, but I also know that now is the time for higtened creative concentration on the little details.
Going into an intuitive workmethod demands thoruough preparation and grounding. Emotional grounding. Meaning, reaching that place, where there is a solid foundation of common emotional understanding in what world we are entering together, so that we can access this place through our instincts, rather than through our intellectuality. Without that grounding, I believe it's almost impossible to create honest and emotionally complex material.
I'm positive that we will get there. Nonetheless, my creative anxiety has slowly begun to creep in. I guess it's inevitable and completely natural. Afterall, it's the first filmsketch of this project. The first plunge into this creative odysee, that Mothlands is. So my anxiety is not just about this particular filmsketch, it's also about wanting to create a inspirational and defining start for the project and the people involved.
I try to be very acceptant about my anxiety. You know, acknowledge that it's there, and be really outspoken about it, because then it becomes less dangerous. It also helps me to re-read the mothlands manifesto, when my need for control starts to disturb my intuitive flow. It reminds me that there is nothing to be afraid of. That the notion of "failure" is a piece of old luggage that I'm about to get rid off.